Without emotion there would be no action.

 

Our well-known Fight, Flight and Freeze actions are the most because they respond to more ancient, below-the-line emotions such as fear and anger, according to psychologist Barbara Fredrickson.

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Above-the-line emotions actually broaden our worldview:

            Joy sparks the urge to play.

            Curiosity sparks the urge to explore.

            Contentment sparks the urge to savor and integrate.

 

The consequences of broadening our world view is a discovery of novel, creative actions and ideas, which in turn builds social bonds, which then expand our support networks. The flip side of this isn't so much negative or destructive actions, but rather inaction.

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Among the surprise findings in Dr. Hawkins' emotions research were the destructive power of Apathy and the constructive power of Anger.

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Research today by neuroscientists (Lisa Feldman Barrett), behavior economists (Susan David), educators (Marc Brackett) and business coaches (Marshall Goldsmith) support and build on the evolutionary concept of emotions that "Give" and "Take"

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The case can be made that most emotion is essentially values neutral – I can be happy you lost the game or angry that you got a promotion. And you can't tell someone what emotion they "should" feel – that's like arguing about someone's favorite color. It is easier, however, to get stuck in those emotions that are below the courage line. And being stuck is the greatest risk to your business. Anger, while it doesn't have an expiration date, does get exhausting and often manifests itself as apathy.

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Neuroscientists, meanwhile, have identified the primary emotions: 
Mad, Sad, Glad and Scared because they contain the chemicals involved in all emotions – Adrenaline, Cortisol, Dopamine and Oxytocin. 

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Because we've been told to not show these basic emotions at work, when we have difficult conversations a lot of our energy goes to suppress the physical and tonal signals, especially of Mad and Scared.

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Mad, or better yet, Anger, is likely the most misunderstood of these primary emotions. When someone is angry it is most likely because they care and feel they have a "dog in the hunt."

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Unfortunately, most of us avoid people who show signs of anger. But if you do this too often, the angry person becomes apathetic, which is a much more harmful emotional state for your business.

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Learning how to constructively engage angry people to either "step up" or "step out" is an important leadership skill in a time when our companies have many "smart, passionate" people.

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Another critical finding from Hawkins is the importance of stating an emotion up front. When you tell someone you are Mad or Nervous first and then state the reason, our brains don't expend a lot of wasted energy trying to convey that emotion to the other person.

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This is why the "Say it outloud first" approach was used in South Africa's Truth & Reconciliation process and by George Mitchell in the Irish Peace talks.

 

These small steps are the foundation upon which trust can be built.

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